“Alienated Man” and Various Associated Personality Disorders

Notice the word “Electro-Convulsive”

The use of the term narcissistic personality or character has been established in the psychoanalytic literature since the 1930s. Historically, it stems from Freud’s original division of clinical conditions into the psychoneuroses, the actual neuroses, and the narcissistic neuroses. Freud’s meaning of narcissistic neurosis subsumed some conditions which were later incorporated into yet an additional category of the character neuroses. In the early 1900s, however, the term “narcissistic neuroses” was used by Freud to include a number of regressive psychotic and conditions which were not amenable to psychotherapeutic techniques in use at that time (see Rosenfeld, 1964). These included some overt schizophrenic conditions as well as latent schizophrenia and what later would be considered schizoid or narcissistic personality. In the past 30 years, the meaning of the term narcissistic neurosis or narcissistic personality began to be more definitive of a borderline state of functioning typified by sever but no psychotic estrangement from both self and social environment.

Freud’s use of the word “narcissistic” carries the implication of narcissism in the sense of a primary, objectless ego state. Kohut and Kernberg have clarified the nature of what they define as pathological narcissism (Kohut, 1971); Kernberg, 1974). Additionally, Kernberg (1972) has depicted a series of stages during early childhood where faulty incorporation of internal objects occurs in certain selected varieties of narcissistic personality.

In common parlance as well as in its mythological derivation, the word “narcissism” is used to suggest a relatively superficial and fatuous self-absorption, which is more suggestive of hysteroid or immature adaptations. In these connections, the word is associated with demands for gratification and cherishment based upon the continuation of a compensatory overvaluation of self. Etymologically, of course, the problem is that the latter connotations of “narcissism” are distinctly different from those which are connected with primary narcissism. In centering on the semantic connected to the process of “splitting,” the Bleulerian term “schizoid” evades some of this confusion. Again, regardless of terminology, there seems to be a genuine consensus concerning the nature of these conditions. There also is agreement concerning the technical difficulties in the psychotherapeutic treatment of such states.

It is necessary to discuss some of the terminologies which have been applied to malignant states of isolation and self-estrangement. The clinical portrait of “Alienated Man,” with regards to psychoanalysis and psychiatry, is to be understood that I use the word “man” in its generic sense, so that references to “Alienated Man” and “his” experience of “himself” are abstractions that stand for individual men and women…..Other terms designating what I here call “Alienated Man” include “schizoid personality, narcissistic personality, Protean Man.(See definitions listed below) (Cf. Fairbairn, 1954; Kohut, 1971; Fromm, 1961; Lifton, 1971: Daly, 1968; Laing, 1960; Riesmann, 1961; Jourard, 1964.)

To clarify, it is my opinion “Alienated Man” refers to the schizoid personality or narcissistic personality disorder. It must be stressed that these individuals are not social isolates or alienates as the term “Alienated Man” suggests, rather these individuals can appear quiet gregarious and social in context. The term “Alienated Man” refers to the alienation the individual experienced in sublimating and incorporating “love objects” into their psychic apparatus. They become alienates because of their self-centered narcissistic states. “Internalized objects are held to be representations of outside experiences that are incorporated by the infant and child in the process of longitudinal development.” Estrangement from “self” and “other love objects” as described by the narcissistic state of development should not be considered “diseased” in and of itself. In proper balance, preservation of the self maintains a person’s ability to differentiate when and where love and care should or should not be given for the best possible outcomes of survival. It is the balance of this incorporated social awareness that creates a healthy narcissism. It is only when these estrangements become perverse and severely distorted that they are considered mentally diseased. These estrangements during “normal” development are necessary for one’s own survival, continuity of life, and balanced cooperation with “other.” During adolescence, or secondary narcissism, the distantiations of separating the internalized self, or self-identity, in the process of segregating those individuals and things we consider separate from ourselves can become quite pronounced.

“Alienated Man” is alienated to the extent that he does not seek cooperation through self-sacrifice, cooperation, and a feeling of unity. Rather, they seek manipulation through self-serving goals, discord, and chaos. Lack of intimacy, as in feelings of disconnected love towards “other” or a lack of feeling of brotherhood among men, because the “Alienated Man” has become disconnected toward loving “other(s)” as normal man is want to do for his continued survival. Delusions and fears may reek havoc on his mind and can drive his warped personality and perceptions toward malignant and malevolent ends. “Alienated Man” does not refer to avoidant personalities as seen in avoidant personality disorder and the tendency to confuse the two should be carefully scrutinized.

In addition, it becomes critical to differential between the schizoid state of the drug user versus the schizoid state of a psychopathic variant. For example the malevolent psychopath who does not use drugs or alcohol, with regard to the lack of difference in their conscious state of awareness and empathy toward others is more severe than the former. In the conscious state of a schizoid drug user or alcoholic, there exists only an transient state of acute lack of conscious awareness and empathy towards other. Once the drug user or alcoholic stops using, his conscious state of awareness may be re-intact. However, with the schizoid psychopathic individual there may exist a perverse lack of conscious state of awareness and empathy towards other. This state, in my opinion, is more chronic and is less easily fixed because they may possess a deep seated delusions about themselves and others that is not as readily corrected by just abstaining from drugs or alcohol. So the levels and the variants need to be carefully examined, analyzed, and addressed as one diagnosed variant may respond better to traditional psychotherapeutic remedies than the other.

In modern times the use of electro-magnetic therapies have been suggested as a curative medicine. Medical personnel have to watch more carefully if using these technologies. They may be doing more harm than good completely stripping an individual of their basic human rights. Historically speaking, the use of electro-magnetic shock therapy was used as a means of controlling diseased behavior and has come to be viewed as inhumane and any further use of these types of technologies should be carefully considered. I often wonder who the sicker party is, the medical practitioner wielding the therapy or the patient?

***Terms Defined

Schizoid Personality is characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency towards a solitary or sheltered lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness, and apathy. Affected individuals may be unable to form intimate attachments to others and simultaneously demonstrate a rich, elaborate, and exclusively internal fantasy world.

Narcissistic Personality is a long-term pattern of abnormal behavior characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of understanding others’ feelings. People affected by it often spend a lot of time thinking about achieving power or success, or about their appearance. They often take advantage of the people around them. The behavior typically begins by early adulthood, and occurs across a variety of situations.

Protean Man as described by Robert Jay Lifton (1971) is an analysis of the psychological patterns emerging in contemporary life. The Protean style is characterized by constant shifts in identification and belief, and results from such broad factors as the velocity of historical change, the revolution in mass media, and the effects of 20th-century holocaust. The self can no longer be considered a fixed concept in psychiatry, and the term self-process is preferable.


Psychoanalysis; A Spiritual Experience


“Pride creates a noise within us which makes the quiet voice of the Spirit hard to hear. And soon, in our vanity, we no longer even listen for it. We can come quickly to think we don’t need it” (“Prayer,” “Ensign,” Nov. 2001, 16).

This quotation touches on the ideas of Pride and Vanity. They are the ego-mind with all its rooted narcissism. Religion and Psychology are so closely related that I find myself often revisiting this Truth of philosophy:

“The greater purpose of spirituality, and that of religion as well, is even in the presences of a lack of proof for God’s existence, even if that proof disprove him, the willingness of the individual to be dedicated to the continued study of spiritual practice for the purpose of achieving a higher conscious state of awareness. A state that will help pull him out of his own egocentricity, his own suffering, and his own Hell.”

Pride is defined as a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired or to be especially proud of a particular quality or skill. Vanity is defined as excessive pride in or admiration of one’s own appearance or achievements. Something that is vain, empty, or valueless, a fashionable trifle or knicknack. These two sins are discussed and taught in various religions and Bible study groups. They are warned against in various different scriptures and religious writings as well. The famous quote, “Pride goeth before the fall” is actually a misquote of Proverbs 16:18 which says, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” This shows that destruction is the end result of pride, at least according to the Bible book of Proverbs.

Characteristic to psychopathy is this notion that the psychopathic individual is elevated in his perceptions and understanding. He believes he is within full power and right to “teach” another about the errors of their ways. It is for this reason so many psychopathic individuals have risen to ranks of power over the weaker minded follower and can easily influence these individuals into doing their dirty work. In light of this idea, I must pose the question, “Who has any right to assume leadership and authority over another in an attempt to “teach” others correctly?” Does not a human being have a right to choose for himself that for which he desires to study and learn? It must be difficult for a Mormon ministers or Jehovah’s Witness ministers to walk away from a slammed door, especially if the person believes in his heart and soul he holds the power, the secret, the key to transform the lives of those who live behind that door. Still, our country was founded in certain freedoms. Religious freedom has been built into our country’s constitution and we cannot force these notions onto other people. We can only state softly and clearly that for which we have come to know and believe for ourselves, any other behavior may be held accountable in a criminal or civil court of law.

Entering psychoanalysis with the purpose to be cured of a problem becomes a very spiritual experience for the individual. Also, one may find the study of psychology and psychoanalysis just as spiritually enlightening. This should come as no surprise since the approach to studying psychology and psychoanalysis is more than merely science. There is also a philosophical approach to understanding them. Since philosophy is incorporated into the hallways and promenades of many different areas of acadamia, including the science of psychology and psychoanalysis, religious and spiritual philosophies must be considered as these experiences are unique to the individual patients experiencing them. Knowing and appreciating how these experiences relate to people as individuals becomes an important key to helping others. One soon finds that it becomes prudent to understand these concepts and as it becomes of immense value to one’s daily practice of living if one is to extend help to others so they may, too, attain wellness.

Narcissistic Abuse and Dealing with Boundaryless Behavior (edited)


A good read on the “exhausting mind screw” of the Narcissist which I had fallen victim to many times in the past. More than I’d care to talk about. So, I started reading books and recognizing how to use knowledge and wisdom over emotion to gain leverage and support with tactics to combat the unconscienceless behavior which diminishes good will and trust. Understanding the tactics employed by this type of psychopath is important if you are to recognize how they play you like a musical instrument. Techniques like “gaslight,” making one self-doubt and question what’s really happening. Other strategies like projecting on to you their responsibility, “You owe me!” and unsubstantiated claims like, “You’re just like me!” Narcissists are creatures of habit just like you and I. Listening and watching for the “repetition behaviors,” those words and phrases frequently used in conversation will help to analyze and understand their strategies and assist in formalizing your own personal strategy in combating them and changing outcomes.

“As a result, we don’t feel heard, which diminishes trust and goodwill…we are frustrated, don’t feel listened to or more importantly heard. Our concerns go unresolved. They mount. Our emotions are nearly completely shut down just as the narcissist is. We explode which gives them justification in their eyes to abuse us further saying “see! YOU really have a problem with anger!” (projecting their emotions onto us because WE CAN FEEL them). It’s an exhausting mind screw. No other way to put it. And why over complicate it by using some textbook term to describe it?! It’s a Mind Screw! It’s exhausting, burns us out and makes most of us never want to argue like this with another person again in our lives.”

At some point along the way we “allowed our rights to be violated by not standing up, (protecting ourselves) walking away (holding the narcissist accountable) and refusing to remain (respecting our own worth) in the company of someone who doesn’t respect us.”

Common to Narcissistic abuse is an “extreme power imbalance, punishment & reward system, Stockholm syndrome and brainwashing, as all victims of abuse we “allow” things to happen due to the abusive schema.”

As victims and caregivers “we’re used to putting ourselves last to please others and we constantly acquiesce. This is the “boundarylessness” of narcissistic abuse and what we call “forced codependence”. It’s the lowest point in the narcissistic “relationship”; having none of our own needs met, having the narcissist demand that theirs are or else they punish us with rage or silence,  having hatred, blame and shame projected upon us with no defense (no boundaries) and accepting all of it while feeling  hopelessly worthless, loveless, lonely and stuck in a cycle of learned helplessness.”

My question is this, “How do you stop the boundraylessness and unconscienceless behavior of a narcissist who is using technological means, like electro-magnetic frequency (radio-waves), to sicken his/her victims and punish them for a perceived narcissistic injury?” Contrary to popular belief, this is the “lowest point” in narcissistic abuse because he/she has systematically shut the victim down and prevented them to perform work, well at least only the work he has deemed suitable. To read further please click the link below.

Narcissistic Abuse and Dealing with Boundaryless Behavior

A Theory In The Symbolic Unconscious


In my attempt to unravel the mysteries that surround my existence and presence here in this reality we call planet Earth, I decided to post an interrogatory to my readers, “Have you ever dreamed of a person you were attracted to, but never met them during your waking life, or you were unaware as to their identity and unable to distinguish them with any particular certainty as to who their character was?” Dream analysis suggests these individuals represented in dreams are your symbolic “soul mates” or “gender opposites.” The two theories which discuss the idea of a “soul mate,” which is, of course, a person with whom one shares a deep empathy in terms of disposition point-of-view, or sensitivity; are Twinship and Anima. Although the encounter with this symbolic image in dreams is more of a representation of “successful apprenticeship” in an individual’s personal development and creative successes than of an actual meeting of a “soul mate” in and of itself, the concept is rather interesting to entertain since Lucy Holmes put forth that in all the patients she worked with, all possessed an internalized triangulation of “mother”, “father”, and “self” within her patients’ psyches. Both theories share a common root though, the turn to our creative ego function, specifically the gender opposite, to secure a sense of self-cohesion when confidence needs bolstering. It is a completely normal experience and one that drives the preservation of self identity. I had one of these dreams during my college years. Here are the philosophical differences.

Twinship (Freudian)


Twinship or alter ego transference occurring in waking life. Kohut (1971) originally identified this self object function as a manifestation of mirroring. Twinship represents normal developmental striving. Kohut (1984) characterized it as a longing for an intimate experience in which a self object is perceived as a faithful replica of oneself, capable of matching one’s psychological states as if self and self object were one and the same. It is not a merger, in which the sense of an autonomous self is submerged, although in archaic forms it may manifest in this way. More typically, twinship self object needs spur people to turn to their self objects and experience them as a part of the self. It operates as a silent presence to keep one company when self-cohesion requires bolstering. Corresponding in some ways to the colloquial term “soul mate,” the twinship self object function refers to the experience of a companionate presence that feels and thinks just like oneself. It is akin to the feeling of special connection with someone who uncannily finishes one’s sentences, although this sense of connection goes far deeper to sustain self-cohesion when the self is experienced as being devitalized.

Anima and Animus (Jungian)

copy-and-pasteIn the psychology of Carl Jung, the masculine or feminine inner personality of their respective objects in the unconscious of the mind. It is the symbolic representation of archetypes in dreams and it is your opposite or counterpart. For example, in the unconscious of a man, this archetype finds expression as a feminine inner personality: anima; equivalently, in the unconscious of a woman it is expressed as a masculine inner personality: animus. The anima and animus can be identified as the totality of the unconscious feminine psychological qualities that a man possesses or the masculine ones possessed by a woman, respectively.

Because a male’s sensitivity is often lesser or repressed, the anima is one of the most significant autonomous complexes of all. It is said to manifest itself by appearing in dreams. It also influences a man’s interactions with women and his attitudes toward them and vice versa for women and the animus. Jung said that “the encounter with the shadow is the “apprentice-piece’ in the individual’s development….that the anima is the ‘masterpiece.’ Jung viewed the anima process as being one of the sources of creative ability. In the book “The Invisible Partners” it is said that the key to controlling one’s anima/animus is to recognize it when it manifests and exercise our ability to discern the anima/animus from reality.


Two Ancient Stories Used In Psychoanalytics To Describe The Narcissistic Position (edited)



Masochism is the love of self turned inward as hate to the point that it flirts with or succumbs to the death instinct.
Sadism is the love of self directed outward as hate at a love object that flirts with or inflicts the destruction of ‘other.’

The Masochistic Element and Ovid’s Metamorphosis

Ovid Metamorphoses.jpgOvid, one of Rome’s greatest poets, predicted that his fame would live on forever and he was right. It is the poem used to describe the highly narcissistic state of masochism found in childhood development. And so, at the heart of the narcissistic position of ego formation lies this very poem. It is a story that describes the life of Narcissus, a handsome young man who is self consumed with his own image and idea of self. When he spurns the love of a wood nymph who secretly tries to embrace him, she recedes into the woods and virtually disappears unable to speak and turns into the mythical creature known as Echo. The wood nymph pleads with the gods before her retreat to curse Narcissus, and so they do. One day after a particularly active hunt, Narcissus rests upon a shore and peers into the water. He sees his own reflection but does not realize it is his own. He believes it is a water nymph and pleads with her for her embrace. When the water nymph does not return the embrace, he slowly dies of starvation and thirst. Unrequited love and the misguided believe that he was not good enough for the water nymph causes Narcissus’ to self inflict pain (hatred of self) in the form of a masochistic tendency, starvation. Winnicott (1953) went on to describe “the not good enough” mothering that can create this ego state of the “not good enough realized self” and Spotnitz (1972) used the myth of Narcissus to counter Freud’s (1914) interpretation and description of narcissism. What it does not describe, and what further investigations in psychoanalytic study have shown, is that there are two character traits tied closely to primary narcissism and which can be prominently displayed in the secondary narcissistic phase of development known as adolescence; sadism and masochism. Common to all individuals is the formation of narcissism which results in formation of the ego, as well as the development of variant levels of both sadism and masochism. These two states, masochism and sadism, have been described by two completely different plays as far as there variant levels and fatality. It should be noted that these two traits, masochism and sadism, can become perverse if disturbances in early childhood are pronounced enough to cause the infliction of psychic pain to such a degree that the ego, acting out dysfunctional defenses and fantasies, allow for there entertainment.

“By contrast, Spotnitz believes that narcissism represents hatred for the outside world, or object, that is not permitted expression. The narcissist fears the consequences if that hate is ever permitted to be discharged outwardly [the roots of these fears lie in child rearing practices, social laws, and religious beliefs]; that it will kill.”

Ovid’s Metamorphoses and the Masochistic Elements Found in Mental Illnesses; Cutting; Trichotillomania; Obsessive Compulsive Disorders; Self Mastication; Anorexia; Bulimia; Other Somatic Disorder; Delinquency in Adolescence and Certain Criminal Behaviors; Narcissistic Personality Disorder; Bondage and Torture in Sex Games (50 Shades of Gray).

The Sadistic Element and Aeschylus’ Oresteia

The other poem that has been used to describe the perverse state of the highly narcissistic ego with strongly influenced tendencies towards sadism is Aeschylus’ Oresteia. The Oresteia is a trilogy of Greek tragedies written by Aeschylus concerning the murder of Agamemnon by Clytaemnestra, the murder of Clytaemnestra by Orestes, the trial of Orestes, the end of the curse brought upon the house of Atreus. It describes the greatest repetition behavior known to man; War, and it is the Oresteia poem that is believed to help describe the state of matricide, the dead mother, at least according to Amber Jacobs’ theory (2007).

Aeschylus’ Oresteian trilogy opens in the royal palace of Argos, home of Agamemnon andaeschylus Clytemnestra and their four children. Agamemnon has been away for ten years leading the Greek army in the war against Troy, leaving Clytemnestra ruling in his absence. The first play dramatizes Agamemnon’s homecoming after the Greeks have successfully sacked Troy. Clytemnestra, who had taken a lover in her husband’s absence, murders Agamemnon on his return as an act o revenge for his murder of their eldest daughter, Iphigenia, at the beginning of the Trojan War. The second play in the trilogy dramatizes the return of Orestes, Agamemnon and Clytemnestra’s son, whom Clytemnestra had banished from Argos when he was a baby, afraid that he would avenge his father’s death. Orestes’ sister Electra has been waiting for her brother’s return in a state of excessive mourning for her father and hatred for her mother, her only hope being that Orestes will return and kill their mother. Orestes returns, and Electra helps him plan the matricide, which Orestes has been ordered to commit by the god Apollo. Orestes kills Clytemnestra and is immediately hounded by the Furies and flees Argos in a state of insanity and guilt. He seeks help from the goddess Athena, who establishes the first court of democratic justice, where Orestes is put on trial. The court case results in a split vote, and Athena is given the crucial casting vote. She sides with Orestes, and he is absolved from his crime. Athena persuades the Furies to give up their cause of fighting for the mother’s rights and instead become “the Kindly Ones” who will protect Athens and support Orestes’ rule.

“The Oresteia is the myth that can function as an analytic tool for women in its capacity to act as a structure that can be used to both interpret and counter the projections systematically forced on women through the workings of the male imaginary. The Oresteia has the potential to be used to analyze the male fantasies surrounding the mother and matricide, so that those fantasies are not repeatedly acted out and projected into women.” (Jacobs 2007) It is theorized to be at the heart of the paranoid schizoid personality constellation, the malevolent psychopathic serial rapist. Men who rape and kill women like the Atlantic City Eastbound Strangler.

Aeschylus’ Oresteia and the Sadistic Elements Found in Mental Illnesses; War; Murder; Rape; Battering of Women; Various Other Violent Crimes Against Women; Delinquency in Adolescence and Certain Criminal Behaviors; Anti-Social Personality Disorder; Variants in Psychopathy (paranoid schizoid position and the malevolent psychopathic killer); Bondage and Torture in Sex Games (50 Shades of Gray).

The normal psyche has an equal distribution and balance between these two tendencies, masochism and sadism in normal ego formation. However, no where near to the point of when it approaches the death instinct  or the belief in the concept of self-preservation and defenses where these instincts and fantasies are acted out in completion. However, I believe there to exist an overlapping between the two myths, and one in which, the overlapping tendencies can seem to converge.



Carol Kohn “lucidly demonstrates an aspect of the lethal results of the social embodiment, or the acting-out, of unanalyzed phantasies belonging to the male imaginary. Writing the article after she attended a workshop on nuclear weapons, nuclear strategic doctrine, and arms control conducted by distinguished “defense intellectuals,” Kohn shows how the “rational” language of nuclear strategic analysis is blind to its source in unconcscious phantasies arsing from a male wish for parthenogenesis.” (Jacobs 2007)

“There is one set of domestic images that demands separate attention – images that suggest men’s desire to appropriate from women the power of giving life and conflate creation and destruction. The bomb project is rife with images of male birth….This idea of male birth and its accompanying belittling of maternity – the denial of women’s role in the process of creation and the reduction of “motherhood” to the provision of nurturance – seems thoroughly incorporated into the nuclear mentality….In light of the imagery of male birth, the extraordinary names given to the bombs that reduced Hiroshima and Nagasaki to ash and rubble – “Little Boy” and “Fat Man” – at last became intelligible. These ultimate destroyers were the progeny of the atomic scientists – and emphatically not just any progeny but male progeny. In early tests, before they were certain that the bombs would work, the scientists expressed their concern by saying they hoped the baby was a boy, not a girl – that is, not a dud….The entire history of the bomb project, in fact, seems permeated with imagery that confounds man’s overwhelming technological power to destroy nature with the power to create – imagery that inverts men’s destruction and asserts in its place the power to create new life and a new world. It converts men’s destruction into their rebirth.” 

Since Freud’s issuing a navel as signifier or metaphor for the blind spot of the unconscious is of great significance when we think about the navel as the scar that signifies the cutting of the umbilical cord. It is the point of connection and disconnection with the maternal body – that is, it is the point of contact and severance with the unknown.

“Interpreting the [primitive] register of mythical delirium in the embodied social [patriarchal] world aims to put the world back in touch with what has been split off, disavowed, and repressed, with a view to countering the effects of those unconscious mechanisms that result in the denial of women’s ontological status, if not the destruction of the planet.” (Jacobs 2007)

It is these very unconscious primal, bloody, aggressive, fantasies and imaginaries towards women that are played out, in either defense of the ego, or in conscious fantasies stemming from this disconnection as Carol Kohn had observed in the rational world of defense intellectuals. From this idea a whole range of ideas could be inferred and interpreted. I certainly can see where these primal bloody roots of rage in unconscious fantasy can be inferred not just in men, but in women as well. There lies a marginalized group of women, that is ever growing larger today, who by all accounts share similar fantasies. They have been termed by some social scientists and psychologists as “Deadly Women.” 

Destruction Of Communal Property; More On The Narcissistic Condition


“If it’s mine, I can destroy it.”

One of my past blog posts discussed what it was like living with a mentally ill family member. For a long time I could not understand why this individual wanted to contaminate my food with foreign substances that resembled mucus vomit and made my food items smell and taste funny. At first, these contaminations were due primarily because their narcissism had been injured due, in part, by a belief that orders were not being followed. Undergoing yet another onslaught of contimatination of this type, and luckily my serendipitous discovery of the recent book I’m reading on the narcissistic position, I have come to further my understanding behind the reasons why this continues to happen. Its reasons lie in the perception of “communal property” and their own sadistic narcissistic position. Consider the following excerpt:

“A student complains about the ugly condition of the school building and is found few minutes later writing his nickname on the desk with a felt marker; when asked why, he says, “Well, my name isn’t the only one on the desk.” When asked why he just punched in a stairwell windowpane he may reply, “It was broken already.” This ubiquitous sense of possession is not the healthy communal property ownership known in some parts of the world. It is a mental attitude more on the order of, “If it’s mine, I can destroy it.”

These observations are not intended to expose or to deplore the atrocities committed against schools and teachers by destructive students…….The student collective, in actively blocking out the anger it feels toward the harsh world, presents a confused and detached personality to the world outside.”

If you consider Erikson’s adolescent pubertal stage, Stage V, of his developmental theory, these behaviors can be interpreted as a sign of some previous and ongoing type of identity crisis. This phenomenon is not only seen in black urban youths, but also in the ethnically fragmented social aggregates of even the most “normal” white middle-class schoolrooms. With regard to my personal struggles that prevail me, the continuation of these behaviors implies to me that these individuals are still struggling with their own personal on-going sense of self. In short, their extended on-going identity crisis due to disturbances within  primary as well as secondary developmental stages of narcissism. If help is not sought they will continue to  carrying on their identity crisis through their primary, middle, and late adulthood. My mentally ill family members’ belief that “If I help you, then you are mine. I, therefore, can destroy you or any property you own” is at the hearty of this abnormal personality constellation. It is also at the heart of some of the abnormal misguided beliefs found in the psychology of Saudi men about the women they guard, a behavior otherwise known as mate guarding.

Some Brief Notes On The Narcissistic Position


“Rochlin concludes that aggression always issues as a result of damaged narcissism.”

In Freud’s paper (1914) entitled “On Narcissism,” he characterized it as a turning of one’s power for relating to the outside world with love (libido) back onto oneself. Spotnitz (1972) offers different interpretation. It will be recalled that the myth of Narcissus concerns a hunter who spurns the love of a wood nymph. The heartbroken nymph invokes the gods to punish cruel Narcissus by causing him to fall in love and have no love returned to him. The gods hear the nymph’s plea and punish Narcissus. One day, after a particularly fatiguing hunt, Narcissus rests on the shore of a beautiful lake. On gazing into the lake he sees his own reflection; but not knowing it is his own image, he presumes it to be a water nymph of surpassing beauty. He pleads with the nymph to allow him to embrace her, but each time he tries to grasp the lovely creature she disappears. Narcissus remains, transfixed by his elusive image, until he finally dies of starvation and thirst.

Spotnitz advances the interpretation that narcissus, rather than attack the frustrating image, turns his hatred upon himself. Narcissus mistakenly believes that he is unworthy and starves in the attempt to make amends to a cruel and unyielding object. This is where the idea of Winnicott’s the “Not Good Enough” mothering creates the feeling of “Not Good Enough” attitudes in mind of the child, thus creating a sense of false-self disorders. This interpretation, applied psychoanalytically, is essentially different from that of Freud, who saw narcissism as the turning of love away from the world and inward upon the self, in selfish modes of behavior. By contrast, Spotnitz believes that narcissism represents hatred for the outside world, or object, that is not permitted expression. The narcissist fears the consequences if that hate is ever permitted to be discharged outwardly, the roots of these fears lie in childrearing practices, social laws, and religious beliefs; that it will kill. The individual becomes incapable of relating to the outside world because of the hate that he fears will escape. Rather, he turns it inward upon the self and presents a confused and helpless image to the world. In the most extreme cases the narcissist attacks his own mind with such success that he render himself psychotic and nonfunctional.

According to Spotnitz, narcissism unconsciously intensifies when love objects are lost, and hatred for the outside world is not permitted expression due to fear of the consequences. Spotnitz’s theory of narcissism is similar to Freud’s first theory of masochism (1905-19), in which masochism was seen as a transformation of sadism. (Nagera, 1970). In the paper “Instincts and Their Vicissitudes,” Freud (1915) formulated that “masochism is actually sadism turned round upon the subject’s own ego.” Freud’s second formulations of masochism (1919-24) saw it as a regressive phenomenon deriving from an unconscious need for punishment. In the paper “A Child Is Being Beaten” (1919) , he describes this form of masochism: “It is not only a punishment for the forbidden genital relation, but also the regressive substitute for the relation, and from this latter source it derives the libidinal excitation which is from this time forward attached to it.” Freud’s third formulation of masochism (1924-37) was the theory of the death instinct. In this later conception, Freud also postulated primary as well as secondary masochism and distinguished the three forms of erotogentic, feminine, and moral masochism. Primary masochism is related to primary narcissism and is believed to develop during the first stage of Erikson’s developmental theory, birth to 18 months with its onset at about 4 months. Secondary narcissism develops during stage 5, puberty, and is where the fetish for sadomasochism in erotic sexualized behavior can begin as well, thus there are a few different ways in which primary and secondary narcissism can develop, and so too, elements of sadism and masochism which are both closely tied to this notion of narcissism.

Although Spotnitz’s formulation of narcissism is not identical with Freud’s first theory of masochism, it is similar enough to warrant useful differentiation from it. In both theories – Freud’s formulation of masochism and Spotnitz’s theory of narcissism – anger and aggression are turned inward on the self. For Freud, however, masochism is the passive form of an instinctual drive (aggression), which was originally cruelty to an external object, transformed into a “passive instinct of cruelty” turned on the subject’s own ego. For Spotnitz, the internalized hatred is also originally directed toward the outside world, but the hatred is turned against the self rather than the outside world not because of any transformation of instinctual energy but rather because the individual fears the consequences of discharging the aggression outwardly.

Rochlin’s (1973) conception of narcissism, while related to Spotnitz’s, seems more sophisticated. Whereas Freud’s second formulation of narcissism, noted above, sees egocentric aims as opposing the social condition and narcissism serving as the regressive substitute for forbidden genital relations, Rochlin sees social needs as always operating, even in instances where people appear to “thrive on isolation.” According to Rochlin, the injuries to self-esteem that occur due to loss of love objects can be repaired only through relational ships with another. The narcissistic state, therefore, is one in which loss of self-esteem occurs and, here is some measure agreeing with Spotnitz, Rochlin concludes that aggression always issues as a result of damaged narcissism. Either a conscious or unconscious narcissistic fear that cannot be introjected and thus remains unsublimated, lingers in the mind of the individual and causes psychic pain that remains, until action, either internalized or externalized, relieves the anxiety. The lowering of self-esteem which “mobilizes aggression” may result in aggression turned on the self, and as unrelieved aggression, further compromise self-esteem. This causes depression, a sense of self-defeat, and a “brittle indifference to others.” Increasing demands are made on relationships to the point where the relationship themselves may be broken off because of the verbalized aggression, causing neurotic conflict and aborting social relationships. Thus, these two modern theories both conclude that narcissism and aggression are related concepts.

With regard to the recent act of random violence which happened at the Fort Lauderdale Airport in Florida yesterday. Mitscherlich (1963) advances

“In the absence of direct and immediate instruction in practical life under the parental eye, and the consequent lack of dependable tradition in this respect, contemporaries orient themselves by each other. The peer group – that is to say, one’s contemporaries at school and place of residence and work – becomes the guiding line of behavior.” (p. 149)

Mitscherlich (1963) further advances that

“The collapse of paternal authority automatically sets in train a search for a new father on whom to rely…..The weakness of fallibility of the father has to be made good and wiped out by putting in his place a new one of still undiminished strength.” (pp. 300-301)

My own personal commentary for the struggles that continue to prevail me. I feel I am dealing with someone who has either a primary knowledge of, or an advanced knowledge of the fundamentals of Narcissism. Along with this knowledge they have the capability to manipulate human bodies, through advanced technological means of radio frequency, to make circumstances appear other than what they truly are. My question: “How does a malevolent psychopath, one that has a high degree of sadism in their narcissistic constellation make another personality whose narcissistic constellation is influenced by masochistic tendency make it look like the masochistic personality is committing slow suicide? Thus, the perfect illusion in the smoke and mirrors mind play of the psychopath?”  What was Freud’s position in his paper “A Child Is Being Beaten” (1919)?

Twighlight’s of Wisdom questions the omission of sadomasochism from the Diagnostic Statistical Manual for Mental Illness.

The Emergent Sense Of Self And Body Image; A Case Study In Identity Crisis


“Adia I thought that we could make it,
But I know I can’t change the way you feel, I leave you with your misery, A friend who won’t betray, I pull you from your tower, I take away your pain, And show you all the beauty you posses, If you’d only let yourself believe that …..We are born innocent.” ~Sarah McLachlan, Adia

This morning upon awakening, as I was revisited with a deep sense of personal awareness which may not have happened if it weren’t for my readings in psychoanalytic thought, I revisited an analysis. This particular analysis was with a young woman, Melody and her obsession with a young man, Miles that manifested itself in the psychic mind of my patient. “I admired Miles in many areas” she said. “I admired his form, long and lethe, his beauty, although some might say plain, in his sense of style and clothes he wore which I perceived as debonair” she stated. I replied, “These features all hint to the classic female image of a runway model. The same image you admire and seek to attain.” This imago of mainstream culture made manifest in the male form. The straight line vertical look desired for and lethally sought by some women hinted at her rejection of this all powerful voluptuous, plump breasted maternal form. At the heart of this imago of mother with her full and vivacious curves lies many shadow secrets. What is it behind this imago of mother with her very fully engorged breasts, with her voluptuous curves, of this all nutrient rich woman? The essence of these shadow secrets have sparked fears in the minds of those women who have rejected her and her form, and which are so commonly seen in early adolescents, and are early indicators of identity confusion and crisis.

The runway model with her nutrient deprived figure hints towards some of these secrets.runway-model The androgynous look of some of the models in their prepubescent form displays a potential fear of what one dreads the most, becoming their mothers. This personalized imagery symbolizes a wish of not wanting to progress towards or becoming that which, all who identify as female, will eventually become. Mother/Caregiver. What is it about this refusal of introjection? What makes becoming ‘mother’ so scary, aside from the part that mainstream culture may flat out reject you too? What lies at the heart of an individual’s displeasure of progressing towards this psychic position? Could it be that we really do hate our mothers? Could it be that these females identify more with their fathers? Or is it a flat out wish based in the rejection of getting ‘old’?

Growing up Melody had always wanted boy toys, like remote control cars and action figures. She had an Evel Knieval doll that came with a motorcycle and a deck that wound up the bike and projected Evil on top of his bike in to space. The only female dolls she could recollect were really only three; a blonde headed doll with a baby carriage given me when she was seven by Santa and three Charlie’s Angels action figure dolls also given by Santa. The other doll was actually a kitten she used to dress up in doll’s clothes that fit the animal and she would take it for walks in a baby carriage, all of which belong to a neighbor friend of whom she used to play. Other than that she was more intersected in “outside play.”


full-figured-modelsThe transition from androgynous male form to voluptuous full-breasted nutrient rich mother, otherwise known as puberty, seemed to be a difficult one for Melody since she matured at an early age, ten. The disproportionate maturation of females and males is of importance when considering identity. This period is one in which females can actually end-up rejecting themselves if negative disturbances threaten its emergence. For Melody, it was two consecutive male “rejections” experienced back-to-back during her seventh and eighth grade years. The eighth grade rejection was particularly painful because this same boy started dating Melody’s best friend who, in her opinion, happened to be taller, thinner, and more desirable by her other male co-horts. This experience of “cutting off” “rejecting” or “excluding,” also termed as “castration” is important to the onset of both her eating disorder and the onset of hysteria later in life. As a result, following this male rejection, she started excessive dieting, exercise, purging to lose weight. This was at the end of her 8th grade year.

Luckily with the onset of her sweet sixteen year, she became more interested in “inside play” as she had an opportunity to care for her newly born nephew, who ignited in her a desire of the maternal. This all followed a positive female pregnant body experience she had with her sister-in-law while her nephew was in gestation. At this point, I think it fair to say that it still remains unclear as to when the best time for this positive female pregnant body experience should occur, only that if it does occur it helps to solidify a female’s emergent sense of identity. Thus, this positive pregnant body and maternal experience awakened a desire in her to someday start a family of her own. So her gender identity remained fixed at the feminine side of the gender question.

Cognitive dissonance is frequently experienced from time to time in one’s life. Some people have more difficulty with it than others. Cognitive dissonance has been defined as the mental conflict that occurs when beliefs or assumptions are contradicted by new information. The concept was introduced by the psychologist Leon Festinger (1919-89) in the late 1950s. When individuals are confronted with challenging new information, most people seek to preserve their current understanding of the world by rejecting, or identity-crisis4explaining away, or avoiding the new information or by convincing themselves that no conflict really exists. Cognitive dissonance is, nonetheless, considered as an explanation for attitude change. For a person with a fragile sense of identity, like many newly maturing adolescents, who still remain unsure of their world, these types of disruptions can manifest as anxiety related soma disorders like; anorexia, bulimia, cutting, and even addiction, etc. Instead of challenging the new information and choosing to reject it, they chose to incorporate it in to their sense of self, thus, they in essence gravitate towards the death instinct and some, many, far too many, can end-up taking their own life.

Melody’s adolescent cognitive dissonance would lie in disrepair, in her desire to be other cindarellathan herself which was mostly confined to the attributes she could manipulate; taller,  lean, well-developed muscles, blonde, blue-eyed. Unable to effectively challenge these images, she instead introjected the rejection. Instead of having a parent or care giving figure help her challenge this “not good enough” notion, she introjected it as Truth. Thus, she wanted to be anything other than her perceived self; short, stocky, uninspiring; brown hair, browned-eye girl. During her middle school years she wanted to be the social starlight, the one who embodied all the makings of high school prom queen, as most girls do, that imago of ultimate acceptance. Can you guess what features the middle school prom queen possessed? Tall, leggy blonde, blue eyes, blonde hair. Everything Melody wasn’t. It didn’t help matters that her own mother was distant and emotionally unavailable and unskilled at knowing how to help an adolescent’s growing emergence sense of self and so her personal identity crisis ensued.

“There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”


So back to Miles, Melody’s rejection of ‘self’ stemming from a partial unintrojectable mother, self-hatred and self-loathing of her plump and undesired form compared against a backdrop of this tall lean debonair imago known as Miles. Take this and add a few dashes of bitters from an otherwise perturbent mind of a relative and the already introjected truth, the comment made by a family member, “You’re white trash. He’ll never even considermale-lethe-model looking at you.” Take this and let it slow rise, or slow bake which ever term you prefer to use, along with her former adolescent experiences, then combine it with the catastrophic and tragic loss of life of her nephew. Remember that infant boy she helped care for who helped her to discover her hidden secrets of motherhood? His life would be cut tragically short at the tender age of nineteen from a sudden and unexpected car accident. Add a good dose of one controlling family member and the metaphorical act of “cutting one off” “rejecting” or “excluding” her from her nephew’s deathbed ritual, which ultimately acted like the rejection experienced during her former adolescent years and thus the manifested Hysteria of exercising for five hours a day everyday.

Melody experienced persistent and often bitter violent attacks from her parents and other family members in forms of verbal and physical domestic violence senarios. On one occasion she was taken to the hospital after a physical beating following her father’s death. Since there is a triangulation to a person’s emergent sense of self, individuals see themselves as either more like their mother or more like their father. They can also see themselves as equal parts of both and from these identifications come the emergent sense of self. So, what happens when these connections and associations established so early on domestic-violence3in one’s life threaten the individual’s identity and sense of self? When the very people you hold in your perceptions as ‘family’ or in slang ‘you’re peeps’ declare, “We no longer want you?” It’s another form of “cutting off”  “rejecting” or “excluding” which in Melody’s case, was a strategic move made to force or bring about change in Melody, but would serve nothing more than to facilitate the further incorporation of “not good enough.”

But there is a hidden element to this psychopathic destructive game play; one that makes apparent the very one-sided and unleveled playing field held by the “Master” of ceremonies; the antagonistic gamer. “You do what I say now, because now I hold the upper hand. I am in charge. I hold the keys.” But there is a big difference chess-piecesbetween being “in charge” and “being a leader.” Leaders don’t bully and bludgeon their subordinates in order to bring about change. They don’t beat their children with militant style discipline. They offer information and input in a constructive compassionate manner. Aid that facilitates help to the person and establish solutions to problems. This style of parenting can have long standing, destructive, and fatal outcomes for the children involved, it’s called “imprinting.” Thus, children will grow up mimicing this same parenting style or selecting mates and partners who do and who for all intense purposes suffered a form of identity crisis themselves. So it goes no further than to say that there is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity in a society already in need of constructive solutions.

What’s worse, was in the larger ethos, the larger community, of the surrounding neighborhood in which Melody grew-up. She grew up in an inner-city. In the disproportionately larger numbers of psychopathic individuals born out of social economic disadvantage, born out of ignorance of not knowing how to really deal effectively with adolescent problems. Where money is scarce and social aid is usually malequipped  with its resources due to lack of funding or is biased in its solutions to those at a disadvantage in low income communities.





Symbols of the Female Pregnant Form and Anatomy as Destiny



“Death is a woman.” ~Simone de Beauvoior

Psychological Fact: Some people find large bodacious breasts, especially ones that reveal too much cleavage, intimidating. This is in large part (no pun intended) due to the reason that over-sized bodacious breast symbolize the female pregnant body form and, thus with it, all of its unconscious fears which reside in our perception of “Mother.” Childbirth is a woman’s talisman, and when made manifest, the indisputable evidence of female power. The ability to create new life is the earliest and most profound source of power, and we all, men and women, fear it. So, in the words of Simone de Beauvoior, death may truly be a woman.

“Girls find themselves truly ‘organless’ as the end of the Oedipal period.”

In the psychoanalytic work of Lucy Holmes, Holmes has discovered in her clinical work with pregnant woman, the distinct presence of a triad configuration of father, mother, and self. She has hypothesized that this triangulation is largely unconscious and is established when girls begin the introjection of early parental objects on a fantasy level. Thus, girls can use their breasts in much the same way as boys uses the penis, to gain mastery and control over an essentially uncontrollable object, the pre-Oedipal mother, and later, the Oedipal father. Holmes further concludes that by absorbing the imago of mother, a young girl establishes dominance for herself and thus, the gained mastery over this omnipotent and very frightening power. This fantasy that “I am mommy” and “mommy is in me” becomes an elegant solution to an, otherwise, uniquely feminine problem. Of course this is one aspect in a kaleidoscope of possible scenarios when dealing with issues of identity. What happens when a female a girl fails to introject this female imago? What follows is the uncomfortable anxiety experienced when faced with these images in later life. When their presence illicit an unconscious anxiety or memory that recollects from an early time, a perceived threat of annihilation from this very frightening and all omnipotent power. When I think of this possibility, I thing of the uncomfortable anxiety of transgender youth who feel they have to pretend to be their own gender, as was the case with Chaz Bono who made the transition from woman to male. The January 2017 issue of National Geographic will feature a nine year old girl named Avery Jackson from Kansas City, Missouri who expressed relief in finally making the cross over and is the first transgender person to appear on the magazines cover.

“Boob power really means Penis power.”

This theory of a triad is very interesting to consider especially when you consider the mind’s of men. Holmes suggests that little boys are rewarded for possessing a penis. When the little boy realizes, “I, like father, have a penis, and I can control and subordinate mother,” which has seen in the historical established dominance of patriarchy, this institution created by men who wish to subdue the all powerful female presence. This domination through out history has taken many forms, from denying basic human rights for women to the actual murder of adult women and female children. I’m referring to the ritualized practice of pregnancy termination in Asian culture where if it isn’t a boy baby, selective termination is sought. From this, Holmes has found that fantasies of this nature are two fold, serving to encourage the life instinct as well as to serve the death instinct. Displayed acts of love in identifying with love ‘object’ and also displayed acts of hate, sometimes violent, to exterminate and destroy it. These so called ‘death instincts’ can be related to the distantiations seen in adolescence when separating the ‘self’ from ‘other’ becomes pertinent and so fundamental for the purpose of identity formation. And so these identification of early ‘love object’ play a significant part in the process of separating those objects and associations which we perceive as unidentifiable to our own sense of self.

“Muscle power really means Procreative power.”

We see female ‘penis power’ at work when we see women displaying their very voluptuous exposed cleavage. We see this desire to actually have an erect penis in women who choose to undergo breast augmentation, which is used to establish dominance over men and other women. So now you may see more clearly the roots of this unconscious anxiety some people experience around large bodacious breast. How do I become mother? I undergo surgery that makes me look like mother thereby acquiring the omnipotent and very minneapolis-bodybuilders-wallpapers-1frightening power of the female (and male) procreative form. But these unconscious memories don’t stop there. Why is it that men and women tend to feel frightened around body builders? These well built bodies of a men with bodacious muscles that ‘pop’ much like the erect penis and engorged breasts of pregnancy hint to the desire to control and dominate others as well.  It can also serve as tangible confirmation of ones worth and creation from fears which stem from unvalidated feelings of ones own worthiness established in early childhood.  The hypothesis that can be drawn, body builders harbor a secret wish to be like mother and father, in their all  powerful procreative form, in that all powerful wielding force that established the ‘god-head’  during ones early existence.


Exhibitionism And Masochism In The Formation Of Female Identity (edited)


In contemplating what childbirth has meant and means to psychoanalysis, the topic of female exhibitionism must be explored. Traditional views of female body pleasure have precluded the concept of masochism. Masochism was especially championed by Helen Deutsch and seems to be the only way in classical drive theory to think about the possibility of female pleasure in the act of childbearing and giving birth. “It has recently been discovered that female masochism is a pathological variant in pleasure seeking, but analysts today lend towards examining such topics from angles that are not body-based, such as the object relational aspect of the pre-oedipal era, as in the wounded infantile narcissism.”

“A linkage between childbirth and masochism is largely ignored, and therefore the original meaning has not been worked through to the point of rejection.”

In regards psychoanalysis of females, the state of pregnancy can be viewed as “delivering of the goods.” It has been observed by some female psychoanalysists that when it comes to female-to-female competition topics regarding pregnancy and aspects of delivering the child are scrutinized most efficiently. Women view other women who can deliver rather quickly as possessing a type of “athletic prowess.” This athletic prowess is also seen as and extension of her possessing the added ability of exceptional fertility and this is scrutinized with regard to number of children she has delivered. Her exceptional fertility is viewed as a form of powerful sexuality, and thus, her ability to turn men on can exult her to the level of “goddess” and thus she is perceived as “Best Mommy and Wife.” Woman viewing the female presences as divine, that is, her numinosity, is at the very heart of a females perceived possessed spirituality which is that divine spirit presiding over her unconscious state of awareness. I am not only woman. I am sexual healer. I am muse. I am nurse. I am doctor. I am, thus, attendant to your very needs. It does not necessarily have to be factual that she actually is the “Best Mommy and Wife” only that these elements are perceived by other woman in labeling her worthy.

There was a case study involving a highly successful female professional executive. This woman was an Advertising Executive who gave PowerPoint presentations to try and “sell” her companies product. She would become sexually aroused during these presentations, exuding sexual energy and would fantasies about the sexual act of intercourse. At times, it would be so intense she would have to go into the bathroom to masturbate. She was very successful. She would win men over with her sexualized nature and that would eventually lead to sex and, at the same time, “winning” the contract.

This female executive would speak of her own daughter and her similar coloring to her father. She touched on the idea that this child was in fantasy like a child of her oedipal longings that proved to her that she was at “the head of her class,” triumphing over mother and sisters. She came to an insight that her divorced husband and the other males were only “boys” because none of them could measure to dad. Being daddy’s girl had been greatly prized, but it was mother’s body that had been the richest source of envy and female-dominationadmiration and mystery for these girls who shared in this family. The 101%, the grade to beat, the clinched deal, and the big pay-off. The measure of success was to be as filled with the power that mother had, the power to get a male sexually interested and so to secure the best prize of all, one’s own baby. Each business “presentation” this female executive gave to her audience of men, was therefore a vehicle to show her wares, to compete unconsciously with her mother’s body especially in it procreative state. Her psyche had the fluidity of an artist in her ability to regress, fantasize, play out a past superimposed on a present, and still utilize the interconnections between the past and the present. Her animated past revealed a psychic reality that propelled a sublimated and adaptive present tense.

She recalled many different times of being called up to the podium to give a “PowerPoint” presentation. The phallic reference of the podium titillated her, but the associative tilt was to her own female “power point,” the vulva, clitoris, and opening to the vagina, her “cunt,”  “hot spot,” or “hot point” as she felt free to convey in intimate conversations with trusted women. She reported a fantasy of taking off her panties, lying down, opening her legs, and feeling erotic as she imagined showing her vulva, and as she said, “pink, pouting, slightly open, and damp”  to the male onlookers for whom she was showing off. The fantasy would occur when she was excited by clients “to attract their advertising business.”

There were pangs of the forbidden sometimes as she confessed that she would go afterwards to a nearby restroom to masturbate. In this fantasy, her excitement would culminate with the image of the head of a baby coming through her widely stretched perineum, to be followed by the rest of its slithery form. The sexual excitement that accumulated as she progressed in “floor show” seemed to “demand” this masturbatory action outlet. Needless to say she was a high producing advertising sales lady.

The highly sexually excited orgasmic fantasies about giving birth are not uncommon in Behave.jpgfemale psychoanalytic studies. The contents at times contain pleasurable components of fantasizing about anticipated relief after a widly exciting orgiastic explosive birth, the yield of a tantalizing prior build-up of tension of “will it, will it not happen? Now? No!….Yes…..yes!” Classic psychoanalysis suggest that anal fantasy is more closely related to these birthing scenarios than male phallic fantasy, as in the childhood fantasy of the rectally passing of great “gifts,” sometimes for onlookers such as mother, husband, midwife, or obstetrician. Such fantasies are woven into active female body autoeroticism, analogous perhaps to male masturbatory fantasies of pleasurable explosion in orgasm. In this particular case study the woman didn’t possess any tonalities of co-existing loss, or the anxiety about being inadequate or a fraud that have come to be associated with the vulva “damage” ideas that characterize true phallic castration fantasies and penis envy.

In this case study, the woman recalled being thrillingly sexually stimulated by the examining fingers of her obstetrician while she was in the lithotomic position during prenatal examinations. Her associations led to all kinds of feelings and sensations about giving birth; the “show” beforehand in the bursting of the waters, the stretching, pushing and “crowning” of the head. And, her main memories in this regard would return to her mother and other women’s “crowning glories,” their babies.

It’s important to note that this female executive lost her little brother at a very early age. She was 12 years old when he was struck by a car and killed. I personally found a connection to this case and found it rather interesting because there can be an association made between this particular case study and my own personal timeline of life events when I had been rejected by a boy in early adolescence and the lost my nephew in a tragic car accident when I was 35. My nephew was nineteen when he passed away. I had helped to care for him during his infancy and to whom his mother provided me a positive female pregnant body experience. This event was supposed  to be responsible for my “sexualized behavior” and had something to do with a wish “to repair the broken family” again through the “giving of gifts” namely a baby. This was simply not the case because the reasons for my regression laid in the “rejection” and “cutting off” or “castration” by family members who were in control over my nephews hospital visitations and death bed ritual. It may have appeared as if my thoughts were incestuous but, in fact, it was not my nephews actual death that caused the resurfacing of the “cutting off” and “rejection” that I felt. It was the isolation I felt from certain family members who sought to keep me away from my family during my nephews death bed ritual. This proved to fuel and drive my hysteria which took the form of aerobic dance for five hours a day. I made an associations between the “showing off at the podium of her wares” of particular interest because in this particular psychoanalytic case, it was perceived as a form of “sexualized behavior,” one that is compared to an erotic dancer. The after math of excessive exercise was inevitable weight loss. Some people in my family perceived my weight loss as a way of “showing of my wares” for the audience of men. In my opinion, from a psychoanalytic standpoint, this demonstrates a maladaptive response in certain individuals, one that touches on their own deep rooted psychological fears and anxieties of the expressed female body transformation. It demonstrated  and suggests a maladaptive response in early childhood development and has further implications for the establishment of mutual associations, especially when one goes from that of androgynous child state to “sexualized object.” This transformation can represent the licentious libidinal desires of female procreative form and the competitive aspect in attracting the opposite sex which can generate fear and anxieties among individual group members and peers. This rejection of the sexualized female body form, proved to me that certain family members may share in similar personality traits which my illicit a form of sexual anxiety or castrating fears of one’s own importance or ability during times of “body transformation,” of others, in particular the adolescent’s new budding form or other female transformations that take place like plastic surgeries and weight loss.

In conclusion, the compound effect of the tragic loss of life through catastrophic event can reveal some of  the most vehement underlying disturbances lurking in the unconscious psychic mind of all those involved. We can learn from them and discover for ourselves who we truly are, only of course, if one is willing to peer into the dark recesses of psychoanalytic study and pull back the curtain.


“What lies behind your curtain? Are you willing to peer inside?”