Governor Christie’s Treatment And Hope First, No More Insurance Denials

Governor Christie addressing the New Jersey State Senate bringing up an excellent point, perhaps to the point of enlightenment, about the scathing hatred at demonizing one group of insured recipients in view of another, the middle working class, whose insurance seems void of addiction coverage. Although his message is in regard to the working middle class who have acquired insurance coverage through Obamacare, it says nothing about the elderly geriatric patient who have to depend on loved ones for assistance with their medical needs, the middle class Medicare recipient. Christie is launching a One-Stop website helping those who are in need of referrals. Dial 1-844-REACH-NJ for insurance help.

Some Spiritual Thoughts On Leadership


“Anger, resentment, and jealousy doesn’t change the heart of others – it only changes yours.” ~Shannon L. Alder

There comes a point when it becomes important for the American people to stop demonizing President Donald Trump and for President Donald Trump to stop demonizing those who criticize him. We should all take a step back and give the other guy a chance by truly listening to what is being said. Extending charity is another virtue of leadership. If we don’t, what will ensue could become a highly charged verbal accosting of one another. What good is that doing anybody? Do we not want positive behaviors to  be a permanent fixture in the relationship with our American presidency?

The American people and current American presidency must remember that the backbone of leadership holds the fortitude of not succumbing to the critical attacks of the crowd. Its strength lies in its ability to stay upright without being reduced to base primal instincts of aggression and critical opinion. It retains the capability of being able to weather failures with decorum and with the self knowledge that one is never perfect while in this upright position. It seeks for solutions and answers to problems instead of pointing fingers of blame at the short comings of another. It will respectfully withdrawal in the face of an immutable prejudice with the civil knowledge that a new approach must be sought. Part of successful leadership is knowing how to handle the people you instruct and we are all instructors. The American people are no different. Donald Trump obviously has shortcoming, as all Americans do. The larger populace has spoken of their unconscious disconnection with the maternal body; the mother. Feminists have suffered a defeat, but it certainly will not end the movement. We must consciously and continuously remember that it is as Allan Rufus wrote in The Master’s Sacred Knowledge, “Life is like a game of chess. To win you have to make a move. Knowing which move to make comes with in-sight and knowledge, and by learning the lessons that are acculated along the way. We [eventually] become each and every piece within the game called life!” 

Two Ancient Stories Used In Psychoanalytics To Describe The Narcissistic Position (edited)



Masochism is the love of self turned inward as hate to the point that it flirts with or succumbs to the death instinct.
Sadism is the love of self directed outward as hate at a love object that flirts with or inflicts the destruction of ‘other.’

The Masochistic Element and Ovid’s Metamorphosis

Ovid Metamorphoses.jpgOvid, one of Rome’s greatest poets, predicted that his fame would live on forever and he was right. It is the poem used to describe the highly narcissistic state of masochism found in childhood development. And so, at the heart of the narcissistic position of ego formation lies this very poem. It is a story that describes the life of Narcissus, a handsome young man who is self consumed with his own image and idea of self. When he spurns the love of a wood nymph who secretly tries to embrace him, she recedes into the woods and virtually disappears unable to speak and turns into the mythical creature known as Echo. The wood nymph pleads with the gods before her retreat to curse Narcissus, and so they do. One day after a particularly active hunt, Narcissus rests upon a shore and peers into the water. He sees his own reflection but does not realize it is his own. He believes it is a water nymph and pleads with her for her embrace. When the water nymph does not return the embrace, he slowly dies of starvation and thirst. Unrequited love and the misguided believe that he was not good enough for the water nymph causes Narcissus’ to self inflict pain (hatred of self) in the form of a masochistic tendency, starvation. Winnicott (1953) went on to describe “the not good enough” mothering that can create this ego state of the “not good enough realized self” and Spotnitz (1972) used the myth of Narcissus to counter Freud’s (1914) interpretation and description of narcissism. What it does not describe, and what further investigations in psychoanalytic study have shown, is that there are two character traits tied closely to primary narcissism and which can be prominently displayed in the secondary narcissistic phase of development known as adolescence; sadism and masochism. Common to all individuals is the formation of narcissism which results in formation of the ego, as well as the development of variant levels of both sadism and masochism. These two states, masochism and sadism, have been described by two completely different plays as far as there variant levels and fatality. It should be noted that these two traits, masochism and sadism, can become perverse if disturbances in early childhood are pronounced enough to cause the infliction of psychic pain to such a degree that the ego, acting out dysfunctional defenses and fantasies, allow for there entertainment.

“By contrast, Spotnitz believes that narcissism represents hatred for the outside world, or object, that is not permitted expression. The narcissist fears the consequences if that hate is ever permitted to be discharged outwardly [the roots of these fears lie in child rearing practices, social laws, and religious beliefs]; that it will kill.”

Ovid’s Metamorphoses and the Masochistic Elements Found in Mental Illnesses; Cutting; Trichotillomania; Obsessive Compulsive Disorders; Self Mastication; Anorexia; Bulimia; Other Somatic Disorder; Delinquency in Adolescence and Certain Criminal Behaviors; Narcissistic Personality Disorder; Bondage and Torture in Sex Games (50 Shades of Gray).

The Sadistic Element and Aeschylus’ Oresteia

The other poem that has been used to describe the perverse state of the highly narcissistic ego with strongly influenced tendencies towards sadism is Aeschylus’ Oresteia. The Oresteia is a trilogy of Greek tragedies written by Aeschylus concerning the murder of Agamemnon by Clytaemnestra, the murder of Clytaemnestra by Orestes, the trial of Orestes, the end of the curse brought upon the house of Atreus. It describes the greatest repetition behavior known to man; War, and it is the Oresteia poem that is believed to help describe the state of matricide, the dead mother, at least according to Amber Jacobs’ theory (2007).

Aeschylus’ Oresteian trilogy opens in the royal palace of Argos, home of Agamemnon andaeschylus Clytemnestra and their four children. Agamemnon has been away for ten years leading the Greek army in the war against Troy, leaving Clytemnestra ruling in his absence. The first play dramatizes Agamemnon’s homecoming after the Greeks have successfully sacked Troy. Clytemnestra, who had taken a lover in her husband’s absence, murders Agamemnon on his return as an act o revenge for his murder of their eldest daughter, Iphigenia, at the beginning of the Trojan War. The second play in the trilogy dramatizes the return of Orestes, Agamemnon and Clytemnestra’s son, whom Clytemnestra had banished from Argos when he was a baby, afraid that he would avenge his father’s death. Orestes’ sister Electra has been waiting for her brother’s return in a state of excessive mourning for her father and hatred for her mother, her only hope being that Orestes will return and kill their mother. Orestes returns, and Electra helps him plan the matricide, which Orestes has been ordered to commit by the god Apollo. Orestes kills Clytemnestra and is immediately hounded by the Furies and flees Argos in a state of insanity and guilt. He seeks help from the goddess Athena, who establishes the first court of democratic justice, where Orestes is put on trial. The court case results in a split vote, and Athena is given the crucial casting vote. She sides with Orestes, and he is absolved from his crime. Athena persuades the Furies to give up their cause of fighting for the mother’s rights and instead become “the Kindly Ones” who will protect Athens and support Orestes’ rule.

“The Oresteia is the myth that can function as an analytic tool for women in its capacity to act as a structure that can be used to both interpret and counter the projections systematically forced on women through the workings of the male imaginary. The Oresteia has the potential to be used to analyze the male fantasies surrounding the mother and matricide, so that those fantasies are not repeatedly acted out and projected into women.” (Jacobs 2007) It is theorized to be at the heart of the paranoid schizoid personality constellation, the malevolent psychopathic serial rapist. Men who rape and kill women like the Atlantic City Eastbound Strangler.

Aeschylus’ Oresteia and the Sadistic Elements Found in Mental Illnesses; War; Murder; Rape; Battering of Women; Various Other Violent Crimes Against Women; Delinquency in Adolescence and Certain Criminal Behaviors; Anti-Social Personality Disorder; Variants in Psychopathy (paranoid schizoid position and the malevolent psychopathic killer); Bondage and Torture in Sex Games (50 Shades of Gray).

The normal psyche has an equal distribution and balance between these two tendencies, masochism and sadism in normal ego formation. However, no where near to the point of when it approaches the death instinct  or the belief in the concept of self-preservation and defenses where these instincts and fantasies are acted out in completion. However, I believe there to exist an overlapping between the two myths, and one in which, the overlapping tendencies can seem to converge.



Carol Kohn “lucidly demonstrates an aspect of the lethal results of the social embodiment, or the acting-out, of unanalyzed phantasies belonging to the male imaginary. Writing the article after she attended a workshop on nuclear weapons, nuclear strategic doctrine, and arms control conducted by distinguished “defense intellectuals,” Kohn shows how the “rational” language of nuclear strategic analysis is blind to its source in unconcscious phantasies arsing from a male wish for parthenogenesis.” (Jacobs 2007)

“There is one set of domestic images that demands separate attention – images that suggest men’s desire to appropriate from women the power of giving life and conflate creation and destruction. The bomb project is rife with images of male birth….This idea of male birth and its accompanying belittling of maternity – the denial of women’s role in the process of creation and the reduction of “motherhood” to the provision of nurturance – seems thoroughly incorporated into the nuclear mentality….In light of the imagery of male birth, the extraordinary names given to the bombs that reduced Hiroshima and Nagasaki to ash and rubble – “Little Boy” and “Fat Man” – at last became intelligible. These ultimate destroyers were the progeny of the atomic scientists – and emphatically not just any progeny but male progeny. In early tests, before they were certain that the bombs would work, the scientists expressed their concern by saying they hoped the baby was a boy, not a girl – that is, not a dud….The entire history of the bomb project, in fact, seems permeated with imagery that confounds man’s overwhelming technological power to destroy nature with the power to create – imagery that inverts men’s destruction and asserts in its place the power to create new life and a new world. It converts men’s destruction into their rebirth.” 

Since Freud’s issuing a navel as signifier or metaphor for the blind spot of the unconscious is of great significance when we think about the navel as the scar that signifies the cutting of the umbilical cord. It is the point of connection and disconnection with the maternal body – that is, it is the point of contact and severance with the unknown.

“Interpreting the [primitive] register of mythical delirium in the embodied social [patriarchal] world aims to put the world back in touch with what has been split off, disavowed, and repressed, with a view to countering the effects of those unconscious mechanisms that result in the denial of women’s ontological status, if not the destruction of the planet.” (Jacobs 2007)

It is these very unconscious primal, bloody, aggressive, fantasies and imaginaries towards women that are played out, in either defense of the ego, or in conscious fantasies stemming from this disconnection as Carol Kohn had observed in the rational world of defense intellectuals. From this idea a whole range of ideas could be inferred and interpreted. I certainly can see where these primal bloody roots of rage in unconscious fantasy can be inferred not just in men, but in women as well. There lies a marginalized group of women, that is ever growing larger today, who by all accounts share similar fantasies. They have been termed by some social scientists and psychologists as “Deadly Women.” 

Destruction Of Communal Property; More On The Narcissistic Condition


“If it’s mine, I can destroy it.”

One of my past blog posts discussed what it was like living with a mentally ill family member. For a long time I could not understand why this individual wanted to contaminate my food with foreign substances that resembled mucus vomit and made my food items smell and taste funny. At first, these contaminations were due primarily because their narcissism had been injured due, in part, by a belief that orders were not being followed. Undergoing yet another onslaught of contimatination of this type, and luckily my serendipitous discovery of the recent book I’m reading on the narcissistic position, I have come to further my understanding behind the reasons why this continues to happen. Its reasons lie in the perception of “communal property” and their own sadistic narcissistic position. Consider the following excerpt:

“A student complains about the ugly condition of the school building and is found few minutes later writing his nickname on the desk with a felt marker; when asked why, he says, “Well, my name isn’t the only one on the desk.” When asked why he just punched in a stairwell windowpane he may reply, “It was broken already.” This ubiquitous sense of possession is not the healthy communal property ownership known in some parts of the world. It is a mental attitude more on the order of, “If it’s mine, I can destroy it.”

These observations are not intended to expose or to deplore the atrocities committed against schools and teachers by destructive students…….The student collective, in actively blocking out the anger it feels toward the harsh world, presents a confused and detached personality to the world outside.”

If you consider Erikson’s adolescent pubertal stage, Stage V, of his developmental theory, these behaviors can be interpreted as a sign of some previous and ongoing type of identity crisis. This phenomenon is not only seen in black urban youths, but also in the ethnically fragmented social aggregates of even the most “normal” white middle-class schoolrooms. With regard to my personal struggles that prevail me, the continuation of these behaviors implies to me that these individuals are still struggling with their own personal on-going sense of self. In short, their extended on-going identity crisis due to disturbances within  primary as well as secondary developmental stages of narcissism. If help is not sought they will continue to  carrying on their identity crisis through their primary, middle, and late adulthood. My mentally ill family members’ belief that “If I help you, then you are mine. I, therefore, can destroy you or any property you own” is at the hearty of this abnormal personality constellation. It is also at the heart of some of the abnormal misguided beliefs found in the psychology of Saudi men about the women they guard, a behavior otherwise known as mate guarding.

Some Brief Notes On The Narcissistic Position


“Rochlin concludes that aggression always issues as a result of damaged narcissism.”

In Freud’s paper (1914) entitled “On Narcissism,” he characterized it as a turning of one’s power for relating to the outside world with love (libido) back onto oneself. Spotnitz (1972) offers different interpretation. It will be recalled that the myth of Narcissus concerns a hunter who spurns the love of a wood nymph. The heartbroken nymph invokes the gods to punish cruel Narcissus by causing him to fall in love and have no love returned to him. The gods hear the nymph’s plea and punish Narcissus. One day, after a particularly fatiguing hunt, Narcissus rests on the shore of a beautiful lake. On gazing into the lake he sees his own reflection; but not knowing it is his own image, he presumes it to be a water nymph of surpassing beauty. He pleads with the nymph to allow him to embrace her, but each time he tries to grasp the lovely creature she disappears. Narcissus remains, transfixed by his elusive image, until he finally dies of starvation and thirst.

Spotnitz advances the interpretation that narcissus, rather than attack the frustrating image, turns his hatred upon himself. Narcissus mistakenly believes that he is unworthy and starves in the attempt to make amends to a cruel and unyielding object. This is where the idea of Winnicott’s the “Not Good Enough” mothering creates the feeling of “Not Good Enough” attitudes in mind of the child, thus creating a sense of false-self disorders. This interpretation, applied psychoanalytically, is essentially different from that of Freud, who saw narcissism as the turning of love away from the world and inward upon the self, in selfish modes of behavior. By contrast, Spotnitz believes that narcissism represents hatred for the outside world, or object, that is not permitted expression. The narcissist fears the consequences if that hate is ever permitted to be discharged outwardly, the roots of these fears lie in childrearing practices, social laws, and religious beliefs; that it will kill. The individual becomes incapable of relating to the outside world because of the hate that he fears will escape. Rather, he turns it inward upon the self and presents a confused and helpless image to the world. In the most extreme cases the narcissist attacks his own mind with such success that he render himself psychotic and nonfunctional.

According to Spotnitz, narcissism unconsciously intensifies when love objects are lost, and hatred for the outside world is not permitted expression due to fear of the consequences. Spotnitz’s theory of narcissism is similar to Freud’s first theory of masochism (1905-19), in which masochism was seen as a transformation of sadism. (Nagera, 1970). In the paper “Instincts and Their Vicissitudes,” Freud (1915) formulated that “masochism is actually sadism turned round upon the subject’s own ego.” Freud’s second formulations of masochism (1919-24) saw it as a regressive phenomenon deriving from an unconscious need for punishment. In the paper “A Child Is Being Beaten” (1919) , he describes this form of masochism: “It is not only a punishment for the forbidden genital relation, but also the regressive substitute for the relation, and from this latter source it derives the libidinal excitation which is from this time forward attached to it.” Freud’s third formulation of masochism (1924-37) was the theory of the death instinct. In this later conception, Freud also postulated primary as well as secondary masochism and distinguished the three forms of erotogentic, feminine, and moral masochism. Primary masochism is related to primary narcissism and is believed to develop during the first stage of Erikson’s developmental theory, birth to 18 months with its onset at about 4 months. Secondary narcissism develops during stage 5, puberty, and is where the fetish for sadomasochism in erotic sexualized behavior can begin as well, thus there are a few different ways in which primary and secondary narcissism can develop, and so too, elements of sadism and masochism which are both closely tied to this notion of narcissism.

Although Spotnitz’s formulation of narcissism is not identical with Freud’s first theory of masochism, it is similar enough to warrant useful differentiation from it. In both theories – Freud’s formulation of masochism and Spotnitz’s theory of narcissism – anger and aggression are turned inward on the self. For Freud, however, masochism is the passive form of an instinctual drive (aggression), which was originally cruelty to an external object, transformed into a “passive instinct of cruelty” turned on the subject’s own ego. For Spotnitz, the internalized hatred is also originally directed toward the outside world, but the hatred is turned against the self rather than the outside world not because of any transformation of instinctual energy but rather because the individual fears the consequences of discharging the aggression outwardly.

Rochlin’s (1973) conception of narcissism, while related to Spotnitz’s, seems more sophisticated. Whereas Freud’s second formulation of narcissism, noted above, sees egocentric aims as opposing the social condition and narcissism serving as the regressive substitute for forbidden genital relations, Rochlin sees social needs as always operating, even in instances where people appear to “thrive on isolation.” According to Rochlin, the injuries to self-esteem that occur due to loss of love objects can be repaired only through relational ships with another. The narcissistic state, therefore, is one in which loss of self-esteem occurs and, here is some measure agreeing with Spotnitz, Rochlin concludes that aggression always issues as a result of damaged narcissism. Either a conscious or unconscious narcissistic fear that cannot be introjected and thus remains unsublimated, lingers in the mind of the individual and causes psychic pain that remains, until action, either internalized or externalized, relieves the anxiety. The lowering of self-esteem which “mobilizes aggression” may result in aggression turned on the self, and as unrelieved aggression, further compromise self-esteem. This causes depression, a sense of self-defeat, and a “brittle indifference to others.” Increasing demands are made on relationships to the point where the relationship themselves may be broken off because of the verbalized aggression, causing neurotic conflict and aborting social relationships. Thus, these two modern theories both conclude that narcissism and aggression are related concepts.

With regard to the recent act of random violence which happened at the Fort Lauderdale Airport in Florida yesterday. Mitscherlich (1963) advances

“In the absence of direct and immediate instruction in practical life under the parental eye, and the consequent lack of dependable tradition in this respect, contemporaries orient themselves by each other. The peer group – that is to say, one’s contemporaries at school and place of residence and work – becomes the guiding line of behavior.” (p. 149)

Mitscherlich (1963) further advances that

“The collapse of paternal authority automatically sets in train a search for a new father on whom to rely…..The weakness of fallibility of the father has to be made good and wiped out by putting in his place a new one of still undiminished strength.” (pp. 300-301)

My own personal commentary for the struggles that continue to prevail me. I feel I am dealing with someone who has either a primary knowledge of, or an advanced knowledge of the fundamentals of Narcissism. Along with this knowledge they have the capability to manipulate human bodies, through advanced technological means of radio frequency, to make circumstances appear other than what they truly are. My question: “How does a malevolent psychopath, one that has a high degree of sadism in their narcissistic constellation make another personality whose narcissistic constellation is influenced by masochistic tendency make it look like the masochistic personality is committing slow suicide? Thus, the perfect illusion in the smoke and mirrors mind play of the psychopath?”  What was Freud’s position in his paper “A Child Is Being Beaten” (1919)?

Twighlight’s of Wisdom questions the omission of sadomasochism from the Diagnostic Statistical Manual for Mental Illness.

The Narcissistic Condition (edited)


“Narcissus weeps to find that [her] Image does not return [her] love.” ~Mason Cooley

“The Narcissistic Condition,” a book published in 1977 begins with the analysis and observation of the highly narcissistic attitudes found in certain marginalized religious cult groups of its time. Almost forty years later, I’m struggling to see the difference between these religious groups and some mainstream political groups. I fail to see the difference in the narcissistic attitudes possessed by marginalized religious cults, mainstream Roman Catholic Orthodoxy, and our national leadership groups found in various cultures and societies. Aren’t they really all a mirroring of each other? A mirroring of what is really going on in the interior landscape of the psychic mind?

Today, there are even higher degrees of narcissism found in our modern ethos. The troubled-personinternet, social media, selfies all express, “Look at me!” “Look what I’ve accomplished!” Computer technology has spawned the same desperation and attempts to dissolve feelings of isolation, loneliness, and depression through its uses and exploitations. Societies have always had there share of troubled, unhappy, disillusioned, isolated, and alienated people; “the kids who never quiet fit in.” The only thing that changed was the world’s population. It grew larger and with it troubled unhappy youth.

In the 1960s “real hippies” were the pan handlers, the runaways who crashed in different pads every night, ate rarely, and used drugs almost constantly – rootless drifters, in essence, whose only ties wee to the vague community of fellow wanderers. The causes of these patterned troubled children revolved around early losses, inconsistent parenting, and troubled latency period. Hippies.jpgOne research team who studied young residents of Haight-Ashbury reported that their subjects experience a high degree of “chaos and continual over-stimulation including separation, divorce, and death resulting in broken homes all through childhood and adolescence.” (Pittel et al., pg. 18) Many researchers blame the on-set of the hippy culture to post Korean War social issues. The disconnect that occurs in the minds of soldiers returning home after war has had and will continue to have a direct impact on the families of these individuals.

Of these children who would grow-up and turn to drugs in an attempt to “drop out” did so to escape their backgrounds “less with a feeling of anger than with disillusionment and the sad conviction that their parents were unable to offer relevant models of competence.” (Allen and West, 1968, p. 366) It seems important to observe, though, that the use of drugs among adolescents and youth is and was probably much more prevalent than a lot of people would like to believe since fairly large groups of people from all over the country have come in to contact with and used drugs of some kind at some point or another. Another point, the use of drugs in religious ceremony has had historical roots since antiquity through the native American experience to the use of sacramental use of acid during the hippy lifestyle of the 60s and 70s right on up to modern day. The parallel between these kinds of practices found in religious cult mysticism and its association with feelings of loneliness, isolation, alienation, and disillusionment screams of detachment from the loving body of the “god-head” and thus seeks transcendence through the use of mind altering substances, which as stated earlier has been a problem solving strategy for centuries, in an attempt to re-establish a connection with their “higher power.” This “higher power” can only be viewed as one thing, an attempt to reconnect with the “parental god-head” so as to resolve issues surrounding fear of abandonment, the lack of love lost due to inattentiveness, or lack of empathy, or just plane ignorance from parenting during early childhood years. It screams of our very human inequity.

Stranger in a Strange Land.jpg
Book Jacket Image for “Stranger in a Strange Land.”

The essence of these spiritual experiences cries, in all too familiar collective child’s voice, of one weathering the struggle against the backdrop of a straight world. It is no more different than that of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) community’s struggle for identity and need for place in the same straight world with all its chaotic, over-stimulating, and unsuspecting elements. Everything the authors discuss in the first chapter of “The Narcissistic Condition,” the underground classic “Stranger in a Strange Land” (Heinlein, 1961) which mimicked social communism on a physical and psychic plane with its shared telekinesis and supernatural powers touches on the separation between reality and fantasy. This classic went on to influence the 1960s hippy commune, with its lose controls on sexual behavior, no individuality, no privacy, and no leaders and “free life attracted precisely the kind of unstructured, poorly integrated person who was least able to function in the setting.” “The Lord of the Flies,” a 1954 classic written by the Nobel Prize winning author William Golding, is another book that express a similar theme of loss of identity experienced by a group of ship wrecked young boys forced to establish rules and come to term with the responsibility of leadership and making progress.

Modern day society is still producing these same “disillusioned” people, just at a higher rate. Except that today, it seems the hippy commune has been replaced with more radical, isolated means of attack, random mass shootings. The random mass slaughter through the use of automatic and semi-automatic weapons has increased exponentially. It seems some of us not only have a desire for mind altering substances, but also possess ad desire to wield automatic and semi-automatic weapons. In 1972, one author commented on the “flower children” of the 1960s:

“[They] reject the usual problem-solving techniques and replace them with problem-solving via mysticism, astrology, and magic. They are disillusioned with the culture’s solutions, but they are going to share a further disillusionment unless they can bridge the abyss between the reality and the fantasy.” (Speck, 1972, p. 112)

Sound familiar? On July 20, 2012, James Holmes dressed as the Joker, during a midnight We're all mad here.jpgscreening of the film The Dark Knight Rises, aimed fire at the occupants seated inside a Century 16 movie theater in Aurora, Colorado. James Holmes had taken 100 mg of Vicodin prior to executing his plan, the same drug that was found in Heath Ledger’s body when he died from an accidental overdose. Then on December 14, 2012, in Newtown, Connecticut, 20 year old Adam Lanza fatally shot 20 children between the ages of six and seven years old when he entered their first grade classroom. It was discovered later that it was highly likely that Lanza suffered feelings of isolation and loneliness stemming from various diagnosed and undiagnosed mental illnesses. And then on June 12, 2016, in one of the worst mass shooting in recent history, Omar Seddique Mateen, 29, a first-generation American born to Afghan Muslims parents in Queens, took random shots at the occupants inside a Florida nightclub with a handgun and a military style rifle. Who pledged his allegiance multiple times to the Sunni militant jihadist group, Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) and identified himself as “Mujahideen” or “Islamic Soldier.” Is this not just another screaming of our very human inequity? I don’t even want to get started about Donald Trump being elected as president of our country and the implications to what that means to psychoanalytic thought!

The fact of the matter is, psychopaths use similar techniques in their problem solving strategies. Instead of approaching the problem with real solutions, they approach the problem to further compound it with there use of illusion, misinterpretation, and flat out lies, which ultimately are designed at harming and destroying their targets instead of seeking solutions and creative ideas where everyone will benefit from the transaction. The subtle difference between the “real hippies” and the “poor leaders” is a simple difference. It’s roots lie between the two character traits of masochism and sadism.

Twighlight’s Dream

“The Nightmare” by Henry Fuseli, 1781


During an entrances to a local medical center near my home, I experienced what I believed to be a paranormal event. After I was admitted into the hospital, I was placed in a hospital room. I felt the strangest feeling, a feeling of uneasiness about the room. I couldn’t’ quiet explain it, couldn’t quiet tell you why I felt that why, only that I did. It felt like this room was being occupied by someone else but no one was there, I was the only occupant in this particular hospital room. To me it felt like this was someone else’s space. If you know what Rosicrucian* beliefs are, then you’d understand what I was feeling. The nurse at the nurse’s station asked me how I felt about the room, if I was “comfortable.” I told her I felt uneasy about the room. She asked me, “What is it about the room?” I explained I couldn’t quiet put my finger on it, but there was something about it, something there. She asked me if I wanted another room. I replied, “No. I’ll just try and make the best of it. I’ll be okay.” She assured me that it wouldn’t be a problem to find me another room and that other patients reported events in the room. I said, “What events?” She said, “Just strange, that’s all I can describe to you about the room.”  I still insisted I would be okay and so she left me to care for myself.

That evening I got into bed and tried not to let the atmosphere of the room bother me. I fell asleep with no problem and even had a restful night sleep. During the early morning hours, just as I was coming upon a state of wakefulness, just about to  receive my conscious state of awareness. This period of sleep is known as the twighlight realm of consciousness. The realm where the subconscious and the conscious mind meet. Just as my subconscious awareness was falling away, I became aware of a female presence standing next to my body and next to the head of my bedside. Just as I became aware of her presence, she went into a full fit of violent rage and started pounding on me with her fists and hands. I can still recall the blows because I felt each one as if they were real. Each hit stung my body from the velocity of her forceful throws. As she was hitting me, she was screaming, “Get out!” “Get out!” The dream only lasted a matter of moments before I woke up, but when I awoke, I still felt the stinging pain from the punches on my right arm and shoulder.

Psychoanalysts and psychologists will tell you this is simply a “hallucination” or a “night terror.” Psychoanalysts and psychologist will also tell you that your dreams are trying to tell you something. That the past events or current events in your life are being played out in the imaginary of your dream sequence. All you need to do is decipher the symbols and the meanings behind the imaginary. I could correlate this event to a number of past events, and perhaps even some current events as well, as I have had past arguments with my family members. Domestic violence was a problem in my household too, when I was younger, but was the nurse aware of  my past history and did she believe this room was haunted? What about past patients that complained about the room, what happened to them? Even despite the domestic violence I have experienced in my past, and even being a victim of violence against women, i.e. rape, never once did I ever experience a violent dream. Ever! I have had dreams of falling, and then waking just before hitting the ground. As a child, I had a reoccurring dream of big pink fury monster that would walk down my street and scare my neighbors in to their homes. In the end, the monster turned out to be friendly and was just misunderstood. In all actually, I don’t ever experience night terrors or nightmares. My dream world has always been a source of inspiration to me. They have always provided to be my creative muses. I LOVE my dream world. I have written A+ papers upon waking in the middle of the night after a dream. Who or what the hell was the person screaming at my bedside? What was she screaming about? Why was she so angry?

In mysticism this period of twighlight is believed to be a portal to another world, one that lies on the boundaries of our reality. It is a realm where it is neither real nor unreal. This twighlight period is believed to be a place where messages are sent through and where contact with the other side can be made. The Hindu mystic belief of astral projection ties into this very idea. The art of astral projection is one in which a person can “mind” travel to remote places, even enter past time periods, and, yes, even enter another’s dream world. Did someone astral project themselves in to my dream? Or did someone from the “other side,” a spirit perhaps, enter my dream to tell me something? Or did I just have a nightmare, a night terror and/or hallucinating presence standing beside my bed?

*Rosicrucian – The Ancient and Mystical Order Rosae Crucis (AMORC), also calling itself the Rosicrucian Order, is currently the largest Rosicrucian organization in the world. It has various lodges, chapters, and other affiliated bodies throughout the glove, operating in 19 different languages. AMORC claims to be the oldest existing Traditional Fraternity and the modern – day manifestation of the ancient ‘Rose-Croix’ Order, which is said to have originated in the Ancient Egyptian Mystery Schools. The ancient Mysteries are claimed to have been preserved through the millennia by closed secret societies until the early years of 17th century Europe. At that point, according to AMORC internal mythology, the time was right for the existence of this body of secret knowledge to become open, i.e. revealed, to the world in the form of the Rosicrucian manifestos. This Ancient and Mystical Order considers itself a spiritual community, however, it has had past connection to the occult and knowledge to the paranormal.



Ink Blot Test


This is a fun test to take, one that provides a pleasant distraction from your everyday work boredom. I don’t know if you should place too much faith in the test though. I read these types of tests use a Forer/Barnum effect which is the observation that individuals will give high accuracy ratings to descriptions of their personality that supposedly are tailored specifically for them but are, in fact, vague and general enough to apply to a wide range of people. This effect can provide a partial explanation for the widespread acceptance of some beliefs and practices, such as astrology, fortune telling, graphology, aura reading, and some types of personality testing. Some people swear by them and report they really do represent their true personalities while others discredit them for their art of magic making. See if you can decide where you fall in your opinion and take the test. What do you have to lose?

Ink Blot Test On Personality